Strange feeling

Music is among the top things I am interested in. I underwent a bit of carnatic music training but stopped after a few years, but the doors to the music world was just opening. Apart from tamil film music, I used to listen to english songs broadcast on radios in the evenings and sometimes in tapes. Other than a few amazing tunes, the rest were just a momentary pleasure and blurred away into oblivion. It was not until I heard "Bad" by Michael Jackson that I was truly drawn into the world. Although this song is good, it is not in any way a great one (as far as I was concerned), but the video (I don't remember know how and where I saw it) made an impression on me at several levels. The subway, co-ordinated movements, graffiti spray paint, and best of all, the ultra-cool guy who reverse splits on roller skates and starts moon walking on the same spot with a boom box!

Surprisingly, I did not know about"Thriller" which came earlier.

As in many Indian households, I was being drawn towards several art forms - learning music, learning karate, learning table tennis - and then of course, the eternal "studies". So, I had no chance of formally following a particular artist or gradually developing my music taste. Though the fire was still burning, there was minimal oxygen. But cable TV helped me out with a vengeance! All the music you want, with video, just sitting right there. There was no way to get up to speed in all forms and categories, so I chose artist-wise, and guess who came first in that list! All of his songs were seen at various time points within a very short time.

I think it was when "Dangerous" released, when I started seeing realizing that there was something weird going on with MJ. I had no idea how he was continued to being perceived in the US, and was just listening to him purely based on his music. His lawsuits, VMA drama, amusement park, zoos were just playful antics according to me and I urged myself to look at the bigger picture all the time - his music.

His later works were not that earth-shattering, but did have some sparks in them. All the while, his off-studio personality went from bad to worst (whether they were true or not). Debt, humiliation and a couple of really bad interviews finished the story for him. I had to become a closet MJ fan for a while.

But soon my music horizons expanded and I gradually grew out of my comfort zone. It was not as hard as I thought it would be - a gradual maturity which helped me like the music irrespective of the artist. There was not much coverage about MJ anyway for a while until his recent tour announcements.

Yesterday, I was feeling a bit tired and was taking a nap when my wife who was watching TV said "What the... " from the living room. Something forced me to come out of the room and there it was - "MJ dead" - the media already swooping from all directions, CNN already rendering a cursive written Michael Jackson 1958-2009.

I just want to look at the bigger picture.